Electric Zoo . . . Where Techno listeners go to do the same shit they usually do... outside.

Yes! Finally. An event that people resembling the techno twins (from AT&T's commercial) can go and hold glowsticks, trip on X, and heterosexually make out with other men! And to ensure that it is not like any other Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night in the dirty STD infested NYC clubs, its all going down OUTSIDE! Hooray for Electric Zoo

BUT WAIT! It turns out The "Man" is trying to hold down our glow stick wielding brothers. They have prohibited all the things that make Electronica music fun...


What items am I not allowed to bring with me?
The following items are prohibited:
• Large bags/backpacks
• Weapons of any kind (guns,knives,sex toys)
• Outside food & beverages (get your ass inside and pay 9 dollars for a beer)
• Professional cameras & recording devices
• Illegal substances ( ? )
• Squirt guns, misters, spray bottles, etc. ( ? )
• Laser pens and similar focused-light devices
• Glowsticks, etc.
• Chairs
• Bottles, cans, camelpacks, canteens, flasks, bota bags
• Pets
• Bicycles, scooters, personal motorized vehicles
• Musical instruments (Techno doesn't fuck with real instruments)
• Sleeping bags (no overnight camping or sleepovers)


... WHAT!?!
This Festival is starting to look as exciting as a family friends High School Graduation party.

Without Lasers, Illegal stuff, Glowsticks, and Weapons what does Techno have left.

strange colored hair, and tight jeans. That's what.

I advise all of New York to boycott this pathetic excuse for a Festival and instead, on September 5th and 6th, Celebrate the day Swaziland became an independent nation for a short period of time.


P.s. Another reason to hate this "festival" . . .It opens at noon closes at 11pm both days . . . not only would you be waving glowsticks while the sun was up but thats not even enough time to get "Panda Status"

TAKETHAT


FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT ...THE TECHNO TWINS...